Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
