I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
love makes seman taste better
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
