He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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