Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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