im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
