You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
