I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
