My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
