Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
