She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
