We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
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Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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