honey bunches of taint.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
