Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
