he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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