i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
