Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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