I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
