You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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