i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
