I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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