The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize