I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
