Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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