This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
