just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
