Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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