hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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