ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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