Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
