dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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