i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
