I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
