she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
