It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
