Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
