Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You're breaking my sexual little heart
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
