based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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