Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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