drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
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a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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