its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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