been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So vagazzling was a success
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
