You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
