those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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