I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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