I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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