Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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