I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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