i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
the raccoons are back...
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