3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh god it's open bar.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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