i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
