yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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