just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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