Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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