Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Farmville is her only friend.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
