I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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