People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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