Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
