could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
