I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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