i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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