Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
