Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize