This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
