i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
