i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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