There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
