Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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